Ranger in a Strange Land Short Stories Book 1 edition by North Orbit Ranger Humor Entertainment eBooks
Download As PDF : Ranger in a Strange Land Short Stories Book 1 edition by North Orbit Ranger Humor Entertainment eBooks 
Nine stories intended to drive the reader insane.
Ranger in a Strange Land Short Stories Book 1 edition by North Orbit Ranger Humor Entertainment eBooks
Have you ever been fifty miles from the nearest public restroom and had to take a massive dump? I know I have. I'm not saying just "I'm making a mental note to take a dump when I get home" but "I MUST TAKE A DUMP NOW!" And not just any dump, but the kind that comes from eating just slightly too much Mexican food of the spiciest kind, including five large jalapeno peppers, inadequately masticated, so that they are burning a hole in your large intestine. That kind. So there you are, and, on top of it, your car is filled with 8 of your friends, crammed close together, including a girl that you are trying desperately to impress, because you just know she'll be the best you've ever had. What do you do? Well I know what I do. I slam on the brakes and exclaim excuse me but I've just seen a meteor strike just over there beyond the tree line. Where?, they say. And I say, just beyond the tree line, and point vaguely away somewhere and then I run like a mad mad man, a mad man serpentining through the woods at the greatest speed I can muster (I possess excellent cardiovascular health) so that my fat friends can't follow me. Then, when the coast is clear and they're wandering about yelling "JOHN JOHN JOHN" and wondering where the heck I couldn've got to, cuz I have the keys to the car, I get behind a bolder and unizip and let it all loose, taking my sweet time, and then I wipe with a road map I snatched from the glove compartment.It is with such urgency that you should buy this book.
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Ranger in a Strange Land Short Stories Book 1 edition by North Orbit Ranger Humor Entertainment eBooks Reviews
Bukowski meets Vonnegut and produces something unique. These stories, from the introduction to them, to the last page, rolls the reader like a bowling ball down a narrative lane, thrusting through a gutter one moment, and transcending the alley for a smashing strike, the next. If looking for transformative writing, these stories are not to be missed.
I'm not finished with it yet. I will write more at a later time.
Have you ever been fifty miles from the nearest public restroom and had to take a massive dump? I know I have. I'm not saying just "I'm making a mental note to take a dump when I get home" but "I MUST TAKE A DUMP NOW!" And not just any dump, but the kind that comes from eating just slightly too much Mexican food of the spiciest kind, including five large jalapeno peppers, inadequately masticated, so that they are burning a hole in your large intestine. That kind. So there you are, and, on top of it, your car is filled with 8 of your friends, crammed close together, including a girl that you are trying desperately to impress, because you just know she'll be the best you've ever had. What do you do? Well I know what I do. I slam on the brakes and exclaim excuse me but I've just seen a meteor strike just over there beyond the tree line. Where?, they say. And I say, just beyond the tree line, and point vaguely away somewhere and then I run like a mad mad man, a mad man serpentining through the woods at the greatest speed I can muster (I possess excellent cardiovascular health) so that my fat friends can't follow me. Then, when the coast is clear and they're wandering about yelling "JOHN JOHN JOHN" and wondering where the heck I couldn've got to, cuz I have the keys to the car, I get behind a bolder and unizip and let it all loose, taking my sweet time, and then I wipe with a road map I snatched from the glove compartment.
It is with such urgency that you should buy this book.
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